The People Vs Will.i.am
- Justinian Mason
- Sep 5
- 4 min read
With fashion week just a week away, I want to write something fun. So, I'll do a quick revisit (and slight rebuff) of my stance on late-2000s and early-2010s fashion. Guys... lets not do this again. I'm starting to see fashion trends from 2007-2013 get revived again and there's really no need. One of the first articles I wrote discussed how this era of fashion was so bad, there's no way we'd bring back. Do we really want to return back to a time of Domo t-shirts, neon colored leather, and duck face selfies? This era is destitute of creative life. I fear that if we get too deep into these aesthetics, we will awaken the sleeping giant named Will.i.am.
I'm currently sitting in Tompkins Square Park playing the 2009 Black Eyed Peas album The E.N.D. I’m revisiting this album I know all too well to help me see my middle school days a little more clearly. If you know me, you know that I'm not a fan of Will.i.am's artistic output on any level. For years I've been saying I think he's a visionary in 2008 terms. He continues to create through that lens, thus making everything he creates in the present outdated upon inception. I feel for the adults that fell for the play-dough quality aesthetics of that era. I was a child, I was fooled into thinking LMFAO and 3OH3! made good music. You had 22 year olds bumping party rock anthem as a core memory of early adulthood, I simply don't envy you. We cannot entertain the revival of this era. The music and the fashion that comes with it can light a fire under millennials and do irreparable harm to gen alpha that we aren't ready for. Back in '08 Will.i.am could do no wrong, he had the keys to the cultural zeitgeist. It's crucial that we don't hand him the keys again.
Just let it die guys! Nostalgia for this time period is inconsequential! Think about this like a system of threat levels. First it's Myspace romanticism, then Bieber hair resurfaces, and then Will.i.am rises from the ashes with an invitation to the MET GALA. There's no turning back once he returns. All of a sudden he's executive producing for your favorite musician's album or getting a creative director role for a major fashion house, trust me, you do not want this. Will.i.am would shape the next few years in his vision, and it would ruin culture as we know it. Think of the children. Are we ready to see Nylon leopard print from head to toe?
The revival of this era would fully mobilize millennials who would feel compelled to both defend and gate keep this sad ass era. An era I'm gonna call the "play-dough arc." I simply don't want to see them stand on business on behalf of sub-mid media. Call it compassion, call it hate, either way I think we can all agree I care :) Now it might seem like I'm being hyperbolic, but it's not like I'm claiming Will.i.am has the power to make sea levels rise. I just hold the immovable position that he's a culture killer.
When Will.i.am was running shit, pop culture was going through the most counterproductive creative renaissance in modern history. We were transitioning from a post turn of the millennium aesthetic and somehow someway, Will had the torch handed to him. The play-dough arc embodies the darkest side of maximalism. For some reason we had an obsession with clothes that sparkled, plaid, and bump its. Why we have a desire to return to such days is beyond comprehension. I'm earnestly convinced gen alpha would grow up with a soiled view of music and fashion if Will.i.am is shaping their creative reality. My generation survived it, but everyone one knows an aesthetic is easier to embrace when it's resold to a newer audience that didn't witness it first hand. A fun trip down memory lane can turn into a Will.i.am produced Olivia Rodriguez album in no time.
I'm almost done, but this is an actual cover to a song Will.i.am dropped just two years ago. The song is named "The Formula" and it features Lil Wayne. He made the song for Formula 1 racing, so you know it paid well. I'm not one for F1 racing but he makes me question the marketing team when they hire Will.i.am to create their anthem. Saying The Formula is indescribably bad would be a lie and a compliment. The production is elementary at best, and he relies heavily on repetition with seemingly every God damn word. The adlibs are feeble and they're the same volume as the main lyrics. Here's a quote from the song: "I got that solid gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold. I'm solid gold, WOOH!" Be so fucking for real guys. This is proof that he is what he was, a 2008 visionary who's damned to create as he always has. This song is proof that we can't be trusted in any creative realm. The music video is right below, and before you watch it, I want you to know my distaste for Will.i.am isn't undeserved.
At this point I'm pleading with the general public to leave the play-dough arc alone. Some things can't be undone. If we're going to celebrate anything from that time period it should be a Trumpless White House. We're in such a fun and progressive place in media and fashion, an '07-'13 resurgence will undo a decade of inventive art. I pray you guys heed my warning before Will.i.am ruins the remainder of the 2020s. I'm sure the reunion tour for The Fray is gonna pop-up soon enough and I want you to know you're dead to me if you go. Hopefully this is the last time I'll have to write about the threat that Will.i.am so clearly presents himself to be. Happy we decided to bring this escalation towards play-dough aesthetics to a halt. Hope y'all have a great weekend. See you next week for fashion week!
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